They say, we must engage in positivism and control our feelings. They say we should try to be happy. I tried. I failed. No matter how hard I try to control myself, I am swept away by my emotions everytime. To pretend to be happy, I have to kill a part of my soul. I am unable to do that. Now I don’t look for appreciation from the outside world. I want to recognize my innerself and respect my own feelings. I have learnt; to be true to self is real happiness.